Kiss Me….

A kiss is just a kiss…unless you’re watching Episode 2 of Modern Family. Then, a kiss is the source of all sorts of trouble.

Claire, being the typical mother who wants to know all about her kids’ lives, snoops in Alex’s phone and discovers that she’s been sending flirty text messages to some boy. She sends Haley to investigate.  We find out that Alex does indeed have a crush on a classmate, Jeremy. But she’s never kissed a boy.  This shocks Haley, who started kissing at the tender age of 11 (no surprise there).  Haley is glad her sister's life has gotten "interesting," admitting that she thought Alex was a lesbian before this happened.  Honestly, I thought Alex might be gay too, simply because there was never a hint that she was into boys. Guess Haley and I were both wrong. Oh well.  Haley tells Alex to hurry up and start kissing before Jeremey thinks she’s a lesbian too.  Now, Alex prides herself on being smarter than her sister….I find it hard to believe that she would actually listen to any advice that Haley gives her.  But I guess when it comes to this particular subject Alex feels Haley knows what she’s talking about. Big mistake.  Taking Haley’s advice leads to Alex admitting to Jeremy that she likes him and wants to kiss him.  Unfortunately, his entire soccer team hears the whole thing.  You can just see the horror on her face. Her world has officially come to an end.  Naturally, she runs away (there’s really nothing she can do to save that situation).  Of course it all works out in the end: Jeremy tells Alex that he likes her too and offers to kiss her. Alex, apparently having come to her senses, politely declines….you know, since this is only their second conversation face to face.  How cute.  Also, how unreal.  Kids these days are doing a lot more than kissing at her age, but I guess ABC has to keep it PG.

Speaking of keeping it PG, that’s exactly what Mitchell wants to do when it comes to showing PDA with Cameron.  He absolutely hates kissing in public, and, of course, this bothers Cameron who craves attention.  I’m on Cameron’s side with this: I’m sorry, but anyone who high-fives their significant other on New Year’s Eve has got a serious problem!  Mitchell apologizes and tells Cameron that he’s working on it.  This is such a lie.  Later at a family dinner, Cameron leans over to kiss Mitchell, but Mitchell quickly pulls away causing Cameron to fall over the couch. Best scene of this episode: watching Cameron’s large body tumble over the couch and onto the floor was hilarious.  But I think it’s ridiculous that Mitchell is basically married to the guy, adopted a kid with him, and yet can’t kiss Cameron in front of his own family.  What kind of relationship is that? We find out that Jay is the source of this problem.  He never showed affection to his kids when they were growing up, and it screwed Mitchell up.  Gloria makes father and son kiss in what can only be called an awkward moment.  But I guess it was worth it, because both Mitchell and Jay appear to be doing better with showing affection by the end of the episode.

Other points I feel compelled to mention: Claire is exposed as being a skanky teen back in the day (arrested while skinny dipping); after Jay makes fun of Gloria's claim that she saw her dead grandmother, Gloria seeks revenge by tricking him into doing stupid stuff around the house (any man who actually thinks that slapping raw chicken or wearing shoes around your neck is a Columbian “tradition” may need to seek professional help); and Phil spends 4 hours trying to fix Jay’s printer only to get a half-hearted “thank you” in return (poor guy!).  Really wish Manny had more of a presence in this episode....he seemed like more of an afterthought this time around.

Funny episode, but I'm still waiting on Alex to get her first kiss.